One of my favourite non-mainstream media reads is The Free Press. While much of it is focused on politics, more and more articles are appearing on softer topics.

I was really taken by The Surprising Pleasures of Widowhood by Elinor Lipman. At the outset, I am not a female, so I am not faced with being a widow, and thankfully, my favourite person is still going strong. However, we have watched our mothers go through widowhood. Both had different reactions, but as I listened to Elinor, I was taken by the term ‘grie-lief’, which I think applied to my mother, who cared for Dad as he suffered cancer and then dementia. Mum did so much of her grieving before he died, and with his passing came a release of sorts. It didn’t mean she was pleased he was gone. He still featured in conversations, and there were photos on the mantel shelves, but Mum got on with her life. Her next few years were ones she got a lot from, and I’m thrilled for her. I miss her and Dad still.

There is much to take out of Elinor Lipman’s article and accompanying interview with Suzy Weiss. I wanted to focus on the final piece of the interview, where she considered some questions

What’s the best age?

That’s an interesting question. Was it as a child when I had limited responsibilities? Was it as a Uni student, when I felt it was all before me? Was it when I met and committed to my favourite person, or the birth of our children, watching them grow, or the birth of our grandchildren? I could go on.

One thing I know is that I need to live by a comment I heard years ago: ‘The past is like a country you can’t get a visa to visit.’

I try to live by that. Sure, I have some regrets, who doesn’t, but I need to live now and look to the future rather than the past.

So for me, the best age is now. It’s not always straightforward; there are pressures, and sure as eggs, the world isn’t necessarily in the best place, but it’s up to me to make of it what I will.

What happens when you die?

As a Christian, I believe in eternal life, so I don’t think it ends with a last breath. I think with that thought comes an understanding that death is a transition, and what I’ve done along the way matters.

What aspect of the future would I be sad to have missed?

Like Elinor, it’s grandchild-focused. I want to see not just them, but also my children grow: how each of them lives their lives, enjoy their successes and be there to support them.

What am I most excited to miss about the future? What won’t I miss witnessing?

I won’t miss the carry on. The endless predictions of doom, bluntly, I won’t miss the daily news cycle. I used to be obsessed with it; I am not anymore. That said, it’s hard to avoid being drawn into it. I won’t miss being subjected to it anymore.

So, to the final question

Where am I?

I’m trying to live my life to the fullest. Enjoying my family; blessed to be in good health and not facing financial hardship. I am the fittest I have ever been. I enjoy my mix of family, some work, volunteering and my relationship with the Lord.

I guess that confirms my best age is now.